Why Do Modern Authors Keep Taking Shots at Readers? Nobody Wants To Read Bullshit (Featuring Suzanne Collins/Steven King)

Today I learned something about writing that is far more valuable then anything you could learn in books. Techniques, literary terms it is all a load of shit. Writing is about the flow and the following, when you stop to think you kill the voice and now your writing is no longer real. To put it simply you just punched ‘us’, the reader in the face.

(DON’T STOP READING JUST YET)

For example Suzanne Collins single handedly butchered her distinguished hunger games series in the third and final book of it. This is because she started pulling things from her ass. You see, we read the books to the end because we all wanted to know Gale or Peeta and obviously Gale was the better man…. But no…. Collins decided that apparently men are inherently dumbasses and do things like bomb the love of our lives baby sister off the face of the earth BY MISTAKE! Am I the only one that’s stuck asking “what the f$%k” was she thinking. I have concluded she must have been dropping some hard drugs or binge drinking for that matter, probably both… If you’re going to give the readers a twist and have the main character end up with the underdog then give us some respect and be creative or at least don’t do it while your smoking crack. Thanks.

Writers, nobody-wants-to-read-the-sweat-that-comes-from-your-ass; well that’s not entirely true, maybe Steven King does.But don’t get me wrong, I have tremendous respect for the man himself, how could you not? He literally sat who knows where as though constipated yet managed to still shit out 47 something novels. All the while, I have been thinking ouch that has got to hurt. Though, we must hold anybody who is willing to endure that kind of pain for money, in high-regard. Now, I am sorry to those such as King fans or Suzanne fans who I may have offended but not because I might have offended you but because I am sorry for not being sorry? But I am an asshole remember.

I swear some writers must be smoking crack

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