To better present the mood of that night listen to this song while reading 😀
Well there is no better way to get over a haunting incident than to talk about it and this is some seriously f&^%ed shit.
And it started off, just like any old story where mistakes were made………
Once upon a time:
We hit the liquor hard……. You know binge drinking doesn’t have to be seen as a bad thing in fact it could be looked at as healthy, we all seek a dose of chaotic fun. Even If your that person of stature who’s afraid of Facebook or the guy who failed high-school because of Facebook, we all need it. Unfortunately, things got out of hand and the demented adventures begin.
It all started when our lady friends declared “ladies” night! Now I understand the need for some estrogen boosting phenomenon but to watch the notebook without the boys, there simply can be no justice in that! Its a damn good movie in itself and more-so by leaving us men a stray in the world you women are paving the road towards stupefying events to come.
We were left for dead by our female friends and thus had nothing to do. At the suggestion to drink there was an immediate ignition within the longing eyes of my buddies and the mood was set. Live fast, die young boys tonight is going to be a good night.
Exempt from the drinking of our new friend Mr.Whiskey was Tyler, the driver. And so, between the remaining 3 of us we managed to finish the bottle. Their is a number of words that could have been chosen to describe our state of mind: hammered, shittered, slammed, sloshed, belligerent etc. etc. We were all of them.
It seems Tyler had become quite innovative in his sobriety and lead us, his drunk friends to purpose. I will admit, at first we were skeptical at his perposal but with the persuasive undertones associated with the consumption of alcohol, we jumped aboard the ship of this foul contingency.
Now, the phrase “foul contingency” might be an odd way to describe a three-way, but trust me in saying that they paraphrase a devils three some with the term Eiffel tower simply because the french are stereotyped for their kinky sex and this was pretty wild. Unfourtunatly, neither James, Chris or I had the initial balls to volunteer.
Fortunately, Tyler seemed to have all the answers that night and the consensus of decision was directed at a 3 man game of Rock Paper Scissors. Continually, this part of the night remains distorted in my memory, though I remember a brief controversy in who had been had been chosen for the duty but it didn’t seem to matter. James and I it was.
Before reading any further please make note you are reading the Diaries of an Asshole and below this point will be uncensored and profane 😛 no bitching……. I warned you
Frankly, we all love sex. It is what we are born to do but trust me in saying some people love it on a whole another level! Meet Jessica, 5 feet tall and by no means blessed in the beauty department. Though it goes without saying, there is something to love in every woman. You see, if Jessica had her way she would seek to sexually appease the lustful needs of man and woman alike, whats not to love about that. If she wants to bang the circumference of the earth then all the power to her at least she’s making history.
It goes without saying Jessica was a prime candidate for the devils three. The 4 of us picked her up to “hangout” and off we went. Tyler had brought us to a sub-urban park currently known as the hood. Instantaneously, Tyler and Chris hopped out of the car. That was the last I saw of them for a good half hour :P.
I was pretty out of it as it was and before I could ask myself what the hell we were doing, James had begun initiating the task at hand. Your probably wondering how the F do you initiate a threesome? Well I was asking myself the same thing and hadn’t said a word, mean while James was doing work and was engaged in some serious foreplay. It was getting pretty crazy for me but before I knew it she started going down on him, looked up at me, asked if I wanted to get in on this and before I knew it my pants were off and it was happening. He was banging her brains out and she was orally making my day.
Now the common response to a threesome with two guys is “thats just weird”. This is a fallacy in that it is a totally epic experience. That
said, In the height of the sex I looked up as did James and we were both on the same page, neither of us could believe that this was happening and we couldn’t help but laugh and she continued pleasuring the two of us. The highlight of the experience came with the high-five. It was the single most exhilarating high-five you could ever achieve in a life time. Lastly, he gave me some hand signals to switch it up but it was too much for me.
Things started getting to steamy and kinky and gross simply because James started getting way to into sexing her up and I left the car. Chris and Tyler somehow were oblivious to it all and were sitting at a picnic table smoking a cigar. They had convinced themselves that there was no way that it was actually going to happen. I proved them wrong by sending them towards the vehicle and as we approached it was as if you could hear her screaming from miles away. Tyler was more disgusted than I have seen him my whole life, it was safe to say his car had been defaced to the fullest extent. To ease his pain we lit up a joint………
Scott Bradley ~ please note this is fiction based off of a sexual encounter a few of my friends had indulged in and the exerts above are written from their perspective.